Cleveland Singles Scene by It's Just Lunch

Debunking Dating Myths: Who Pays on the Date

It’s Just Lunch recently surveyed singles to ask them a variety of questions when it comes to first dates and what men and women really think on the topic of dating.  We just talked about attraction and now we’ll focus on another topic that can be controversial with dating: money.  

When it comes to money, this question comes up on a date both directly and indirectly (and we’ll cover the direct part in a second.) According to our survey, both men and women candidly agreed that they want the other to make more money, which kind of brings us to an impasse. However, from what we can deduce, this isn’t about who brings home a larger paycheck. This is simply a matter of being on equal footing. While it’s nice to be able to pay for dinner or treat someone to an outing, it’s also nice to get some reciprocity once in a while.

On that note, our survey results revealed that seven out of ten women don’t always want the guy to pay the bill—and guys believed the same thing. Picking up the tab is certainly a nice gesture on a first or second dinner date, but it often isn’t required. The way we see it, if the guy picks up a tab at dinner; ladies, if you’re clicking along and having fun, treat him to an after dinner drink. Guys, if your date kindly insists on splitting the bill at dinner and you’re heading out for more fun, pick up her movie or drink tab later in the night.

To close out Part 1 of our survey, we asked both men and women the following question: “would women rather have champagne and lobster or burgers and a beer.” Again, the results were pretty clear on both sides, with 71% of men and an 82% of women responding that burgers and beers trump lobster and bubbly on a first or second date. Why? Simply put, the point of dating is to get to know someone. While it’s certainly important to impress, a nice yet casual dinner puts both men and women at ease and allows both personalities to emerge naturally. Head to a fancy restaurant, and you might not be as open as you think. Relaxed confidence is always sexy, so be human when you’re starting out and you might just click with your date better than you initially think.

Feedback Friday

“Lucy is a great conversationalist; we had a lot of fun on our date. She is charming, we hit it off! I liked that she was bright, witty and she’s beautiful. She definitely has her stuff together and had a great sense of humor. We made plans to go out this weekend!”-Jim, 42

“Jim and I spent over 2 hours together! We laughed a lot and we had a lot in common which led to a great conversation. He asked me out for Saturday night and I agreed. He’s an interesting guy, very funny, cute and family oriented. He’s really a great guy; I’m looking forward to Saturday!”-Lucy, 42

Debunking Dating Myths: Height, Attraction and Intelligence

It’s Just Lunch recently surveyed singles to ask them a variety of questions when it comes to first dates and what men and women really think on the topic of dating.  One area the survey focused on was attraction. Do looks really matter? Most people have natural attractions toward others based on hair color, skin color, body types, and so on. Even though we’re constantly inundated with images of sexy celebs and other attractive figures, most of the time we have a general idea of the type of person we like. Some people may have a specific type; while others are a little broader in their perspective—and having a firm opinion either way is a good thing!

However, we did ask both men and women a simple question that seems to come up time and time again. Does height really matter? The results aren’t surprising. Typically, two out of three men want to date women who are shorter than they are, and they believe women want the same thing. Ladies, you overwhelmingly responded that you’d like to date guys who are taller, and believe men are on the same page. So what’s the takeaway if we all already knew this? Guys, do not fib about your height before going on a date. Adding an inch or two (no pun intended) really won’t help your cause, from a statistical standpoint.

However, when it comes to sheer attractiveness, women may not have guys figured out after all. We separately asked men and women if guys prefer looks to brains. Most women believe they do. However the guys told a different story: a majority of men would date someone who is smart over someone who just brings a pretty face to bring to the table. Ladies, use the power of wit and confidence to overwhelm your guy on a date. Trust us, he’ll appreciate it.

Recently Single? How to Handle a Breakup on Facebook

Finding yourself recently single? You're not alone...this time of year is a peak time for breakups according to facebook data on status updates. Since social networking (Twitter, Facebook, g-chat, Skype, etc.) has changed the way we communicate with each other we wanted to share some etiquette tips on how to handle a breakup properly.

Check out this article on "How To Handle A Breakup on Facebook". Our favorite tip?

"Do not post "Single" too soon after a breakup. Wait about one month. If you are trying to get the attention of one specific friend, just send a private message to alert him or her that you are back on the market."

Feedback Friday

Rich and Sarah met in early January and both called this week after Valentines Day to put their membership "on hold" for each other. Check out their feedback from their date:

"She was very pretty and professional. We have plans for this weekend and I can't wait to see her again. Great match, she's exactly what I'm looking for, probably the best first date I've ever had."-Rich, 50

"The date went good! I think he's good looking, he's professional and very intelligent. A really nice guy! We're going out again on Saturday, I'll keep you posted!"-Sarah, 46

Who Plans the Date? What’s the Ideal Gift? Men and Women Disagree

If you’re a man who intends to arrange your Valentine’s Day festivities without consulting your date, you might want to change your plans, according to a new national survey by It’s Just Lunch. And if you’re one of the rare guys who wants to leave the whole thing up to your girlfriend, that’s not a good move either.

When the specialty dating service asked over 750 singles, “Who’s supposed to plan Valentine’s Day?”, 56% of women thought it should be the couple together, but the number one answer for men was “the guy,” with 48%.  “The couple together” was a close second for men, with 47%, but only 42% of women picked “the guy.”

But women clearly don’t want to plan February 14^th on their own: About half a percent thought that “the girl” should make Valentine’s Day plans, which may come as a surprise to the 5% of men who chose that answer.

“Most people aren’t mind-readers,” says Irene LaCota, spokesperson for It’s Just Lunch. “Talk about the holiday before you decide who plans the date.”

There were also significant gaps between the sexes when it comes to “the best Valentine’s gift.” The top answer for women, chosen by 38%, was a “gift certificate for an activity we can do together.” Only 21% of men selected that answer.   Men’s top gift ideas were flowers, chosen by 43% of men, but only 31% of women.

 “Togetherness seems to be the key for most women, both in planning the holiday and with regard to the gift they receive,” says LaCota. “Men just need to be smart enough to choose something their dates enjoy as much or even more than they do.”

We Debunk Some Valentine’s Day Myths

It’s Just Lunch surveyed over 750 single men and women on a range of topics from gift-giving and date planning to first dates and blind dates. While people may see Valentine’s Day as a “couples only” holiday or even disparage it as a “Hallmark holiday,” the survey suggested that many singles see February 14^th as a day to try something new or even expand beyond one’s dating boundaries.  Over 83% of respondents said they would accept a first date request if it falls on Valentine’s Day, and over 70% said they would be open to being set up on a blind date.  Even though many respondents feel that date-planning responsibility still lies with men, a majority (54%) believes that a couple should plan the date together.

Even though answers from both men and women generally aligned with each other, there were some notable differences. Men believed that flowers remain a Valentine’s Day staple, with  43% of male respondents saying a bouquet is the best gift. However, women answered quite differently— almost 38% said that the best gift is a certificate for an activity that a couple can enjoy together.  In fact, only 30% of women thought flowers were the best Valentine’s Day gift.   “Women want to be able to share an experience with a potential partner,” said Irene LaCota, a spokesperson for It’s Just Lunch. “Flowers are always a thoughtful gift, but an experience two people can share together helps build a foundation for future dates”. 

What's out in 2012? Men, pay attention: chocolate and lingerie are low on a woman's Valentine's Day wish list, with only 5.2% and 1.6%, respectively, rating them as excellent gift ideas.

A pre-Valentines Day piece of advice

We’ve featured posts by David Wygant, a dating and relationship coach and author in the past on our blog and Twitter feed. He recently posted this article titled, “Is Your Love Worthy of Valentines Day?” Since Valentines Day is on Tuesday, we wanted to share it with our blog readers this weekend. Our favorite piece of the article?

“Your love life is a direct reflection of your self-worth. If you're down in the dumps, you're not going to meet anybody. But if you're feeling amazing, your energy will show to everybody, and people will be lined up to meet you.”

It’s true! A positive attitude and strong self-confidence can completely turn your dating life around. Stay tuned to our blog and follow us on Twitter @ItsJustLunchCLE for more dating advice and tips to improve your self-confidence!

Feedback Friday

"We had a great time! I think we had a good conversation, I think she enjoyed her time as much as I did. We're going out again this weekend, that's a good sign!"-Wes, 35

"Really good! He’s fun and outgoing. Deep conversation, attractive and interesting. Best date I’ve been on, ever! Genuine and honest. We’re getting together this weekend, I'm excited!"-Elizabeth, 31

Dating Tips to Kick Off February

Set an example and be the ideal partner you wish to meet. Like-minded people have a way of finding each other out there in the world.

 Be realistic. Perfection and romance like in the movies doesn’t exist in real life. Keep realistic goals in what you want in a partner and that perfect person will come into your life.  

Commit to a new healthy you. Stick to your New Year’s resolution you made in January and keep leading an active lifestyle! When you’re healthy and active, you’ll become more confident and that newfound confidence will help you shine with dating!  

Expand your interests. Well-rounded people make for interesting dates because they have great stories to share and their interests can lead to many different conversations. Consider trying something new, sign up for a class or volunteer…you never know who you’ll meet!

Forget about the past. Leave the  past relationships and judgments of people at the door and walk into dating in 2012 refreshed! Remember, you have nothing to lose.  Don’t let disappointments and heartbreaks stop you from getting back out there! This leads us too…

Get back out there! Unfortunately, Mr. or Mrs. Right isn’t going to knock on your door while you’re cooped up inside watching TV. It’s up to you to make the first step and get back out there! Inform your friends, co-workers, family, etc. that you’re ready to meet someone. Go out with friends, join a class or hire a first date specialist at It’s Just Lunch! Putting yourself in the hands of a professional takes all the stress out of dating so you can just concentrate on the fun part…actually going out on dates!