Cleveland Singles Scene by It's Just Lunch

You're coordinated on your first date...now what?

So, you had your interview with us and joined It’s Just Lunch. Exciting!  You heard about your matches and now you’re coordinated on your first date! Now what?

It’s ok to be nervous and have those first date butterflies. Take a look at our past blog posts; there is plenty of information here on dating tips, first date etiquette and some do’s and don’ts.

We came across this article on The Very Best First-Date Moves. We love doing our research on dating…remember, we’re the First Date Specialists! Our Top 2 office tips included:

Don't ignore the awkward moments
"The best first-date move that a guy ever used on me was when, at the second we were about to kiss for the first time, he said, 'On an awkwardness scale, how would you rate this moment?' It totally broke the ice and warmed us up to each other. I call this a 'conscious conversation,' where you openly acknowledge any uncomfortable moments that crop up. First dates are always anxiety-provoking on both sides, but when you can talk about that elephant in the room, it breaks the tension."
– Nancy Slotnick, author of Turn Your Cablight On: Get Your Dream Man in 6 Months or Less

Ditch the three-day rule
"If you had a fantastic first date, call on the way home to say, 'Thanks for the great time' rather than waiting a few days. Tell your date that you know that you're breaking all the first-date rules, but you wanted to call anyway. This simple move shows you're not into playing head games, which will wow a first date."
– Liz H. Kelly, author of Smart Man Hunting

To read more of the article, click here.

Good luck on your date…have fun and don’t forget to SMILE. We’ll talk to you tomorrow with feedback!

4 Dating Tips For The Weekend

Don’t forget to make reservations! Plan ahead for your date, it shows you put time and effort into the evening (or afternoon!). You don’t want to show up to the restaurant and then have to scramble to go somewhere else.  If you’re going to a movie, look up those times in advance and plan accordingly. And, if you plan on doing something unique, like going to a park or to the beach, let your date know so they can dress accordingly!

Have a trustworthy cheer team. Keep your friends and family in the loop of what is going on in your dating life! It helps to have people close to you offer positive and encouraging remarks. Part of the fun with dating is prepping for your date and comparing notes afterwards and asking for advice.

Be Proactive. Dating requires action and getting out there! Spring is here and love is in the air…give us a call, we can help get you out there and shake the winter blues away!

Smile. Always smile…trust us, it works.

Feedback Friday

“A great match and a great first date! We got along well, we talked about getting together again and I think we’ll see a movie this weekend. She’s smart, funny and athletic. Thank you for introducing me to Kimberly!”-Josh, 40

“I had such a great time with Josh! I told my girlfriend it was probably the best first date I’ve ever been on. We had a great conversation. We seemed very compatible, we’re in similar life places and we have a lot in common. I can’t wait to see him again.”-Kimberly, 34

Hold, please....

Our client B.R. has blogged about his dating experience with IJL, here is his next post and he has good news to share!

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Gotta hand it to It's Just Lunch -- they got it done for me.

If you've been following this blog, you'll know that I joined It's Just Lunch several weeks ago. In what seemed like a relatively short period of time, the coordinators set me up on numerous dates, which I thought was fabulous. A couple of the early meetings turned into second dates, but nothing had gone beyond that, until....

Until I met my date for a particular Thursday night, a date that came at the end of a string of 3 or 4 dates in a row. In addition to IJL dates, this was during a week in which my sister introduced me to someone she thought was "perfect" for me, and coming on the heels of meeting another very attractive and fun woman the previous Friday night out with friends. Rather suddenly, I was dealing with the prospect of having too many romantic possibilities at once (not bragging here, just saying this is what happened) -- something for which I give a lot of credit to IJL, both for setting me up with great women but also for giving me great dating practice.

Anyway, on that Thursday night, into the restaurant walked a woman who just somehow and in some way really caught my interest. Apparently I caught hers too, because by the end of the night, we had exchanged phone numbers (to text about something we had in common) and the next morning she texted me to invite me to an event. We ended up getting together that night for some wine and conversation (the event waited until the following week), and by the end of that night I knew she was someone I would want to see again -- and again, and again.

So I called my coordinator at IJL and said it might be time to take a break; what IJL refers to as going "on hold." My coordinator was happy to hear that it was because I was interested in pursuing someone IJL had matched me up with; I told she had done her job and done it well!

About a day or two later, I got a letter informing me of my hold status -- with a great handwritten note from the team at IJL.

So for now, that's my story -- a true IJL success story. It's still too early to predict what will happen with this new relationship or potential relationship. If it works out, IJL matchmakers and my coordinators get huge props -- they set me up on some great dates, and in the end matched me with someone I am excited to have met, and who I doubt I would have met in any other way. If, for whatever reason, it doesn't work out with the new object of my affections and attention, then still kudos to IJL and the coordinators, who set up some great dates resulting in engaging conversations with several women, one of whom has already interested me enough to say, "hold, please!"

Thanks IJL!

B.R.

Need a quick catch up on current events for date topics this weekend?

We came across this article from the experts at HowAboutWe that gives you a quick brush-up on this past week's current events. As we've blogged about before, first impressions are pretty important on a first date and just in case a topic comes up...you're going to want to sound educated and in-the-know! Here's the perfect cheat sheet....and don't worry, we won't tell your date.

Feedback Friday

“I liked Sally! The date went really well. Her personality is right on track with what I’m looking for and we had a lot in common. She’s very pretty too, a great smile.”-Adam, 43

“It went well! It was a good match...Adam’s personality is fantastic, we have a lot in common and he’s really attractive. I felt we were very compatible together and we exchanged information. I can’t wait to see him again!”-Sally, 41

Our Favorite Secret of Happy Couples

Women’s Health Magazine recently posted this article "10 Secrets of Super Happy Couples" and we found their advice very helpful! Whether you’ve been together for six months or six years, it’s important to reflect a little bit and work on your relationship. Our favorite secret? Pretending you just met.  Their advice states:

“Spend some time each day acting as if you just started dating. Ask him what he thought of that TV episode or share what you'd do if you won the lottery. "Over time, couples stop asking those exploratory, get-to-know-you questions because they think they already understand each other," says Terri Orbuch, Ph.D., author of 5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage from Good to Great. But because we all continue to change and develop, little daily check-ins like this are what keep the connection growing, according to Orbuch's research of 373 pairs. Chat about something besides the daily grind—at least for a bit.”

We loved this advice because it really encourages couples to keep things exciting and fresh! After you’ve dated for awhile, you can easily fall into a routine (and that’s a big reason couples break-up). By pretending like you just met...you’ll learn even more about each other and maybe even discover a new hobby to do together!

Check out the rest of their secrets here.

It's Just (Excellent) Practice

B.R. will be blogging about his experience dating with IJL...here is his first post!

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Two things have improved in my life in the past month: my tennis game and my dating "game."

On the tennis courts, I re-connected with an old pal who has been playing more than me in recent years. Also discovered that a business partner plays quite a bit and so now we've had some good matches. Lo and behold, after a few sets, I started noticing I could move the ball around the court again, put more spin on key shots, hit the angles and even hit a crisp forehand or backhand winner under pressure -- sweet! Awesome.

In dating, I found It's Just Lunch. After my initial interview, they set me up on a couple of dates -- and lo and behold I had gotten a bit "rusty" at this too. A three-year relationship had ended a year ago, and I had been focused on other things (business issues, family matters) during the past year. Also wanted the time off before getting back into dating or relationships -- just what works for me.

So heading to the first couple of IJL dates was like picking up the tennis racquet again after a few years off. My game was a bit shaky at first, but soon enough muscle memory (is there such a thing as "emotional muscle memory"? -- hmm, I wonder) started to kick in again. And even the "mis-hits" (in the case of dating, the dates where for whatever reason there didn't seem to be enough initial chemistry) started feeling less awkward and more like part of the game, along with the rediscovery that even if your game is not "perfect" (not every shot is a winner; not every date is going to be your soul mate), there's something to be said for how much more enjoyable it is to be "back in the game" rather than sitting on the sidelines as others hit the winners.

Another interesting thing has happened too, in both tennis and in my dating life. Once I started playing tennis again, I ran into more and more people to play tennis with. I had been working beside my business partner for many months and the subject of tennis never came up until I started describing a match I had played a few days before. On the court playing singles with my friend, two guys on the adjoining court asked us for a doubles match, which was great (we won 7-5, huzzah!) and we may do that again. The point is, the more you do something and enjoy it, the more likely you are to find more ways to do the same thing, and continue to enjoy it. A virtuous circle, so to speak.

And sure enough, IJL dates have led to more dates. Not only repeat IJL dates, but suddenly my sister has someone I "really should meet." Office mates are not only interested in hearing about how dates have gone, they suddenly seem to know single people I might be interested in getting to know.

Not sure if your experience will be similar or the same, but I can tell you, for me at least, that IJL dating has led to feeling more relaxed, confident and comfortable in other dating situations and in social settings in general.  Even if every date or every match is not perfect (and again, they won't be), it becomes excellent practice for when that right person comes along, which will be....sweet! Awesome.

 

 

Feedback Friday: Joe & Amanda

"The date went well! It was a good time. We had an easy conversation and enjoyed some appetizers together. I had fun! She’s a fun girl, I enjoyed myself. I’m definitely going to give her a call." –Joe, 28

"We had a great time. I really liked Joe! We had a great time together; he’s very much the gentleman. He’s professional and goal-oriented and very social, I liked that! I’m looking forward to seeing him again. "–Amanda, 27

Remember dating in 2001? Don't forget to Make The Call.

Take a moment and think back ten years ago to 2001. While cell phones were starting to skyrocket in popularity, not many people had the ability to check email or text on a minute-by-minute basis.  That’s how far we’ve come in terms of interconnectivity. In fact, the term “hyper-connectivity” tells a lot about our personal lives, and that includes dating.  Bottom line: times have changed and our latest It’s Just Lunch dating myth survey results speak to just that.

Even though as a society we’re hyper-connected, ironically, it’s also easier to avoid direct contact. Whether it’s email, text, Facebook, or even through a tricky iPhone app, you don’t have to necessarily see someone you don’t want to see. However, just because we’ve outsourced our communication to gadgets, doesn’t mean we have to set aside politeness. Here are some stats from an It’s Just Lunch poll on dating and technology:

                -Only 15% of singles said they would check their email if they were bored on a first date

                -One in three women would text or email a person to turn them down

                -One in four men preferred a phone call as opposed to text or email.

Bottom line: Be a little "old-fashioned" and make the call.